I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
