carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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