plz talk dirty to me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
