I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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