I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
