She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
