how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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