i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
