Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
