Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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