The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
