Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
