Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
