I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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