I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
worst night to have a conscience
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
