and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
