i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
