did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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