Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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