That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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