If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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