Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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