Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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