i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We are all done wearing pants today
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
