i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
