We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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