So drunk its hurt
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
