PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
