I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
