Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
