I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
did i walk over a car last night?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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