Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
