dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
