Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
