South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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