i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
