all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
