garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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