She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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