i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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