is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just want to make out with him forever
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm too high and old for this...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
