Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
