I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
