we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
