This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
