FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
