I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
