i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
