I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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