I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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