The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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