smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
