You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
