i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
