She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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